Pickle Rick

Dr. Wong : Why didn’t you want to come here?

Rick Sanchez : Because I don’t respect therapy. Because I’m a scientist. Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living and when I don’t like something about the world, I change it. And I don’t think going to a rented office in a strip mall and listening to some “agent of averageness” explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it’s helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I’m not a cow. I’m a pickle… when I feel like it. So… you asked.

Dr. Wong : Rick, the only connection between your unquestionable intelligence and the sickness destroying your family is that everyone in your family, you included, use intelligence to justify sickness. You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse, and I think it’s because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it’s your mind, within your control. You chose to come here, you chose to talk, to belittle my vocation, just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe and yet you are dripping with rat blood and feces, your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I’m bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass, because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is; it’s not an adventure. There’s no way to do it so wrong you might die. It’s just work, and the bottom line is some people are okay going to work, and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose.

[beep beep]

Dr. Wong : That’s our time. I’m going to give you guys my card and hope to hear from you again, and if you have any friends or family that eat poop and would like to stop give them my number.

the painting

Midge : This is the painting.
Declan : I’ve heard the stories. (chuckles) So tell me… does it make you smile?
Midge : It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve even seen. I mean it’s so different from…
Declan : My other work.
Midge : Yes. No. I mean, your other work is wonderful. Probably wards off vampires, but this one…
Declan : This one is perfect.
Midge : But I don’t understand. Why would you keep it locked away in here? I mean, why don’t you sell it?
Declan : Sell it? Sell the greatest thing I’m ever gonna do in my lifetime? Stick it in a gallery and a doctor’d bring it home.
Midge : A museum, then.
Declan : Oh, yeah, what, next to the mummies?
Midge : People should see this.
Declan : No, I painted this for me. This was gonna hang in my home. When I had a home. And a family, when I had that life. This was… this was gonna go there. But that was then. And this is now. I will never have that life.
Midge : Now, wait…
Declan : I’m not trying to spin a melodrama. I’m being very realistic. The chance for that life is gone.
Midge : That’s ridiculous.
Declan : It’ll never happen because… everything I have, I put into that. Nothing left.
Midge : I think that’s very sad.
Declan : Well, that’s the way it is. If you… if you want to do something great… you want to take something as far as it’ll go… you can’t have everything. You lose… family. Sense of home. But then… look at what exists. Are you sure I can’t get you to sleep with me?
Midge : Nope.
Declan : Even after I told you my sad, lonely story? I mean, my God, that was my very best line.
(door opens in distance)
Benjamin : Hello?
(door closes)
Benjamin : Miriam? Where are you?
Declan : The doctor sounds panicked.
Midge : I should go.
Benjamin : Miriam?
Declan : You never saw this.
Midge : That’s too bad.


Benjamin : Got a light?
Joel : Sure.
Benjamin : Thanks. Not in a sociable mood tonight, huh?
Joel : Guess not.
Benjamin : Me, neither. I’ve never really understood fireworks.
Joel : We used to love them. I mean, I did. Now they’re just… lights in the sky.
Benjamin : Lights in the sky.
Joel : You think…
Benjamin : What?
Joel : You think we’re ever really forgiven for the mistakes we’ve made?
Benjamin : Who do you want doing the forgiving? God?
Joel : People.
Benjamin : People never forgive. Not in my experience. They say they do, but they don’t. I’m not even sure forgiveness really matters.
Joel : Why wouldn’t it matter?
Benjamin : Well, what is it, forgiveness? It doesn’t mean anything. I mean, you still did what you did, right? Nothing’s changed. Forgiveness is a mindset. Synapses in your brain telling you to think differently about something that’s already happened. It’s amorphous. It’s not really there. And if it’s not really there, what is it?
Joel : God, I hope that’s not true. Every day, I feel like I’m getting kicked in the head a little. I know I deserve it, but I sure would like it to end some day.
Benjamin : Just do what I do, stay away from people. If you’re not around them, there are no mistakes to be made.
Joel : That’s not the answer. You know that. You need people.
Benjamin : To bum a light. That’s about it, though.
Joel : Nah. You’ll change your mind someday. Just wait. You’ll see.

racing engine

“My mind is like a racing engine, tearing itself to pieces because it is not connected up with the work for which it was built. Life is commonplace; the papers are sterile; audacity and romance seem to have passed forever from the criminal world. Can you ask me, then, whether I am ready to look into any new problem, however trivial it may prove?”


Dr. Mendelez : Bet you’ve seen many of these. I remember my first. Kept thinking, “It doesn’t get any better than this.” And for you, I’m afraid, that’s literally true. You’re a nice kid, and you’re obviously very smart, but you don’t belong here. So, as long as you’re part of my team, this is all you’re ever going to be doing… suction.
Shaun : I saw a lot of surgeons in medical school. You’re much better than them. I have a lot to learn from you… You’re very arrogant. Do you think that helps you be a good surgeon? Does it hurt you as a person? Is it worth it?

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